so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I have tasted many bathrooms
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize