Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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