Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
