this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
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