So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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