Me. At least after what I've been through.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
