If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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