just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Randomize
