We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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