She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
