the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
