I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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