i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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