that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize