I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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