Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
