I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
