We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
