By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
