I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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