Don't you send me to vm
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
