Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
