Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
