Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
