everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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