Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We have so much sex to catch up on
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
