Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
