Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
