Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
