You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
