Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
