he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
But theres a keg here and me gusta
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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