By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
