is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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