its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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