i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
