My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
