I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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