You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
