There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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