Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize