You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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