he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
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