You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
