"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
