all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
