he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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