you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
