We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
MIDGETS
????
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
