I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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