All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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