then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize