i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
