alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
