How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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