You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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