You work out of a Hotel?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
