dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
