The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
