do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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